An Ode to Fluffernutter

In all my years, I’ve never seen an actual fluffernutter sandwich. Until last week. And it caught me by surprise.

At first glance, I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. It looked like any other ordinary sandwich – just with mayonnaise overflowing from opposite sides of the sandwich. However, upon further inspection and cross-examination, that white stuff that I thought was mayonnaise, was not actually mayonnaise at all, nor was it even close to being a member of the mayonnaise family.

It was marshmallow creme, or Fluff, as it’s known to the diehards. Add peanut butter to the mix and there you have it – a fluffernutter. For sugar lovers, a delicacy. For me, I’ll pass.

I thought it was a made up concoction until I was told it’s been around forever. So why am I just now seeing it?

Probably because I’m not the kind of guy that seeks out marshmallow creme at the grocery store. And also because I’m not the kind of guy that’s wild about marshmallows in my sweet treats. It’s just not my thing.

Marshmallows have been around a long time, being the staple ingredient found in the Moon Pie. But when’s the last time you saw a kid eat a Moon Pie?

Do kids even care about marshmallows? I guess they do, because they’re fun. And they have a great name. Fluffernutter, however, is not a great name. That ranks up there with ‘snickerdoodle’ or ‘shortbread’.

A name can make or break a food. Before you see it or smell it, it’s oftentimes the name that creates that first impression.

Why do you think kids turn their nose up at squash? It’s all in the name.

Mikey may have loved the Life cereal, but I don’t think he liked mushrooms or succotash?

Words matter. Food names shouldn’t be silly or scary or gross. They should make your mouth water. Livermush does not.

I have a rule with food that if I can’t say it or spell it, I won’t eat it. But now I have a new rule. If I feel silly saying the name of a certain food out loud, then I can’t eat it – in public.

There’s only one way where the fluffernutter could become a thing – that sweet sensation that sweeps the nation. I say, turn over all marketing to McDonald’s. Love them or hate them, they are experts in making you crave things you never thought you would. Can you tell me where the McNugget is on the chicken?

I may never eat a fluffernutter (in public), but I could be that guy in the drive-thru ordering a FlufferMcNutterTM off the Dollar Menu.

And you know what? I’ll be lovin’ it.

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